W.T.F!!!

just what kind of issues do i really have? a short temper?yeah that's for shure. its to bad i cant afford to smoke,i think it really helped. not that i am craving tobacco,just that Ive Finley noticed the slight change in my attitude,it cant be nicotine withdrawal ether,I've been off the patches for weeks now. i think i just need some thing to alter my reality a Little bit,something more than coffee,to bad all the stuff that really works good is ether hard to get,expensive,or really bad for you.you know i can remember way back when i used to do lots of drugs,booze and smoked like a fiend,i was sick a lot of the time but i was happy,a real easy going guy.didn't have much ,but it didn't matter either,i was to waisted to care. now that i have cleaned up.joined the real world if you will.i have things,home ,car,wife,E.T.C. but i am all stressed up with no one to choke.a real short tempered ass hole.I'm not shure witch me i like,or maybe i need to evolve in to a new me ? i don't know how to do that.Any way i seem to be getting obsessed with lawn care.happens every summer,maybe i will feel different in the fall we will see.