hindsight

so i went through all my old posts(you gotta do that every once in a while.)and you know what i found? pretty much what i thought. HA! i don't know its interesting to me to see how my state of mind changes from day to day.you would like to think that you are mostly a stable person,but its not always the case.some times I'm just sitting here thinking and I'm shure i was a total asshole.and than later i will look at it and its like "no,not really." and some times i think i was all cool and shit and its like"no,not really."i bet that a therapist would like to tear into my head after reading this. but only if i payed for it.did a Little gardening to day,there shure has Bean a lot of posts about that on this blog,and its not Even about gardening. wanted to smoke the other night,it was warm,with a cool breeze,cloudless night.the kind of night that i used to love to fire up a black and mild cigar,and just space out.enjoying the sweet smoke as i let my mind wonder out amongst the stars.not the same now.kinda the same thing happened with drawing when i quit hard drugs still haven't found a way to enjoy drawing.there hasn't been a lot of posts about smoking and that is what started this. well I'm thirsty and need to think about dinner,hamburger helper to night.YUM!