getting better

still having some cravings but they are few and far between. id love to write more but I'm watching a new law&order.

wow more than 7 days!

quiting is going good. i think i might make it. you know when i think of writing I'm not on the computer,and when i get on i don't have much to say. kinda ironic hunh?doesn't help that the arthritis makes my fingers Hertz. oh well later.

DAY 5

doing better every day ,still having cravings but if i wait they pass,it takes a while sometimes but they pass. went to a school to check it out for our son .i think it will work just fine. you know? i thought i would be ragging a lot more but it seems to be O.K. Hugh ?

DAY 4

doing better,think i might make it this time.not that i can afford to fail.feel better,not having many cravings, and my attitude is good. i don't know, this just feels right.well very busy . gotta wash dishes and thaw out diner.

DAY 3

OK I'm feeling a Little better,still thinking about smokes, but not as much. it feals weird  to have my hands free after almost twenty years,but ill just have to get used to it.the air is defiantly cleaner. i used to sit and watch the sun beams play in the smoke . it was fascinating . well that is over. like Allister Crowley said "that which does not change stagnates and dies."at least I'm not stagnant.  

DAY 1

after i last posted my nicotine patches arrived in the mail.so at 6:30 am instead of smoking i slapped on a patch. it sucks. the patch helps with the cravings but not completely. and i find my self reaching for my lighter and smokes,only to reailize they are not there. i left messages on my Friends face book pages that said "I QUIT SMOKING,I WANT TO KILL THINGS AND SMOKE THEM!". i think people think I'm joking,I'm not.i mean I'm genially pissed but now it has an impetus. GURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! ill check back later. 

NOT YET!

I'm still wateing for my nicotine patches,waiting and waiting . i know its not supposed to be easy but ya think it could at least start already.i mean shit i thought i was going to quit on April 1st .they say you got to pick a date,and than every thing goes against plans. maybe I'm being unrealistic but i just want to get on with it. finely got a new weed wacker guess its almost time to start lawn care for the year. don't under stand those people who garden all year round. let shit die for a while.

HAVEN'T QUIT YET!

i know it's not supposed to be easy but you think the insurance would try a Little harder i mean in the long run it's cheaper to quit than to treat cancer or emphysema .i know if i was that worried i would have quit sooner.oh well I'm still trying it's just not going that well. other than that life is pretty good,cat is a fucking thief tho.latter 

MED=FAIL

the med my doctor proscribed did not work,the side effects were to much. so i decided to stop .now I'm trying to get my insurance to pay for nicotine replacement they should.ether way i have to quit smoking,failure is not an option. other than that every thing is going well. ran in to some Friends on face book that i haven't seen in 20 yrs. that's pretty cool. enough for now latter.   

DAY 5 MEDS

well i can definitely feel the pills working,don't want to smoke less yet but i definitely feel better .Thurs day is the new quit day. it is almost approaching with an impending sense of doom,but not allot of anxiety. thanks pills!no real brake in Doctor visits tho  not with my wife&son. but that is my life isn't it.   

update

well its the second,have i quit smoking? not exactly.i started taking a med and then i will stop in one week. its kinda weird having a Doctor tell me to smoke for one week. hmmm.any way after just one day i think i can Feal the med working, it might just my head, but i don't know. hopefully the state wont cut my medical coverage. they are trying to balance the state budget and i think i might be a victim.well more latter.